Monday, February 27, 2012

How my dogs can be complete douchebags sometimes

It was a lovely relaxing day until I decided to go skijoring with Woody and Pooh  Bear. Esther was coming along for the ride, but since she becomes a complete spaz of a freakshow when hooked up these days, I just let her run loose. This was not the wisest decision of the day.

It started like this - trying to call the dogs over to harness them up. I tried with PB first but getting her attention when she is first out of the pen is like trying to herd two dozen cats with ADD. It ain't easy. She found a MILLION other, wayyyyy more important things to do:

Finally, after 4 hours of her deking me out, taunting and zooming by me, there was a brief pause in her (limited) mental capacities where she slowed down near me and I got a hold of her.  Woody came over soon after because if PB is getting attention, Woody feels entitled to it too. So I was able to harness him up too.

Hurray for small victories!

You'd think it would be smooth sailing then right? Yeah, not so much.

Too bad this drawing doesn't come with audio, because the screeching that was coming out of PB's face was deafening. Woody was excited and trying to get to Esther, who was down the trail barking (BARK! BARK!) at us to go.  ANNNND the rest of the dogs in the yard joined in on the barking too. This made for some super hyped up dogs who were about to pull me down the trail.

Getting them hooked to me is one thing, getting going is another.  PB's brain and body don't effectively communicate with each other, so she simply wrapped herself around me a few times and then decided to jump on me.

By some miracle, I was able to get them untangled and point them in the same direction down the trail. Their little pea brains told them to just... RUN! And so they did. Really freakin' fast. And I have a lovely corner right off the start which winds around the fence (and fence posts!). Sometimes I make it, sometimes I don't...

BUT! I made it. My snowplowing skills come in handy at times like this.

All I had to do was hang on because they were on a mission - to RUN, RUN and well, RUN. The faster they go (according to them), the better. With Esther in front, that increased our speed 10-fold because chasing is WAYYYY more fun than not chasing something.

At almost 1km into it, we came to a fork in the trail. One fork went down to "The Gorge" and the other went to a much nicer, flatter trail. The Gorge is a special hill that goes down to the river. I call it "special" because it can maim me. It HAS maimed me in many ways. For example: previous skijoring wipeouts; dogs stopping on me and me catapulting over them down the gorge; it's even where I burned the crap out of my ankle on the 4-wheeler one summer.

The Gorge and I have a history and it isn't pretty.

Let's just say I now head down The Gorge cautiously...

With Esther in "lead" - she was full-on determined to head down The Gorge. Naturally, where she goes, we were gonna follow. The Woody-PB dynamic does not know how to think on it's own.  It did not matter that I was yelling and screaming NOT to go down there. They usually run down The Gorge on their own to the river, so it was no big deal!

They kept pulling and trying to get to Esther as I tried to hold on and stay put in the snow. Esther was barking and barking, encouraging them to follow and they really really wanted to! I had to hang on to my spot, because if they got any closer to The Gorge, it was all downhill and I'd be screwed. I'd be dragged down there cartwheeling the whole way. I wasn't going down that way. Not today dammit.

They pulled, I tried to stick my snowplow deeper and deeper into the snow. Esther barked, they tried to pull harder. Esther was starting to get annoyed as if to say "c'mon already you idiots!!!"

It became a battle of the wills. It went back and forth and back and forth and they were wearing me down. I almost gave in and said "screw it, drag my sorry ass down The Gorge..." when...

Esther clued in!  She figured something was up (her brain works fine) and came back towards me. She finally figured out where I wanted to go, hallelujah!

Whew! I was in the clear!

In the ensuing confusion, lines tangled, dogs got confused, I begged and pleaded and made promises I knew I could never keep (I'll let you eat ALLLL the butter in the house if I make it back in one piece!), and somehow, some way... it all worked out. Mostly.

Except for the part where Woody and PB managed to go on either side of me and clothesline me at the knees. Thanks guys!!

They dragged me back to the cabin and I collapsed partly from exhaustion and partly from being happy to be un-maimed! They were looking for the normal "yay, guys, good job" they often get after a run (when I don't see my life flash before my eyes).  They didn't get it.

But that didn't matter to Pooh Bear! She danced and bounced around my battered, exhausted body, screeching and barking at me to entertain her.

And that's how my dogs can be complete douchebags sometimes.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Screw you Tim Hortons

Not sure this needs any explanation. This is what a few days off of work does to me. Time to get out of the boonies perhaps?

Friday, February 17, 2012

Sad Day here

Had to say goodbye to Lucy today.  She was diagnosed with a tumour on her spleen and there was nothing that could be done. She started going downhill only a few weeks ago.  It came on fast and ended fast for her.

I am thinking back to when she arrived in this world. I had barely been in the Yukon a month - back in 2000 when they were born! Wow.  She was one of 7 or so that I watched obsessively for DAYS as they were born and then nutured by their mother. It was a cold day in January, and I friggin' sat in that doghouse (was a big doghouse) with them 24hrs a day practically. It was fascinating to see, and the first litter I'd really seen being born.  I couldn't tear myself away!!
snow face Lucy

As they grew, the litter became complete and utter terrors! Their mother couldn't wait to get the hell away from them, and I distinctly remember CRYING one time as I exited out of the pen after feeding them! I was freakin' CRYING!!! I am not kidding and almost embarassed to admit it, but it is kinda funny now 12yrs later.  It was absolute craziness.  They were jumping up and biting and grabbed my hair at one point, it was total mayhem.
skijor wipeout - look how concerned they are as Lucy gazes off into the trees..
And even though the three sisters certainly caused me to grow some grey hairs over the last 12 years, they have been more fun and entertaining than anything.  I think Lucy was going for a record on how many porcupine kills she would have in her life, or possibly for a record on how many quills she could have embedded in her face in a lifetime.  She had her own personality, was the most mellow of the three and also the most independent.

Here is a video that always makes me laugh - it was when I booted a pop bottle one day and caught Lucy straight in the head with it. She was not fazed at all, as she paused briefly, then went after the bottle! And please excuse my cackling, it was freakin' hilarious!!!

Quills? What porcupine quills?? In MY face you say?? 

RIP my little Lucifer, Lucy, Luce-ster, etc.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Slaving away... for you!

So here I am, feverishly working on my next cartoon blog post. I have to say, my "artistic" sense has really come along since the first muskrat drawing!  My dogs are now looking like... dogs!  Ok, kind of like dogs. I still need to think REEEEALLY hard and not forget important things like ears, or noses and crooked hind legs.  And 9 times out of 10 they come out looking like pigs, but hey! What else have I got to do with my time??

Heck, I even found myself asking PB the other day to model for me. It went something like this:  "ok PB, just turn sideways... ok, now pant a bit so your tongue hangs out..." and she was all like "what? You want me to stand TWOINCHES away from your face so you can pet me all day and night??" She is useless.

But it is also taking FOREVAH!!!!  So be patient, it is a hilarious story if I do say so myself. It would have been classic if I had a helmet cam for the whole ordeal, but this is the next best thing I suppose.

In the meantime! Here is the maniac, who knows I have a ball hidden in my pocket. She is so optimistic that I'm going to keep throwing it a million times in a row, just for HER! Though I never do, she keeps hoping...

This is the lazy way of walking the dogs after work - I take 'em into the deep snow and make them flail around. They love it!

 Run you little buggers, RUNNNNN!!!!!! Come back nice 'n tired, mkay?
Woody acts like a little puppy in this stuff, he kills me. He bounces around looking like he's lost voluntary control of his body, but he's really just excited. Then he bodychecks his scrawny body into me, but he ends up falling on his head usually. Don't worry, this usually has no effect on his future cognitive abilities.
You talkin' about me????

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Another Saturday night at the homestead...

Another exciting Saturday night!

I think Harris needs another beer! Either that or less sedative on the weekend. Woody on the other hand is showing his classic "stare into space while thinking of absolutely nothing" face.