"Hey ____, I'm thinking we need to cut down on our pillow usage in the house."
One more warning:
Well, do I have the solution for you! I have two models, both weighing in at about 35lbs, that will take care of your needs. And the best part?? They're FREE!!! Let me tell you a little bit about them. One is brownish-red, slightly quiet (at times) and the other is white and maddeningly screechy (all the time). They are high maintenance but it's worth every penny. They can be silenced, albeit briefly, with Icy Waters Arctic Char (frozen heads & racks preferred).
Whichever you choose (I will pay YOU to take both! What a deal!!) they will help you rid your household of any unwanted pillows. See Exhibit A:
Exhibit A
As you can see, they especially love to rid the household of FEATHER pillows. Now I have to tell you, this whole process is EASY and requires very little work on your part. All you need to do is let them loose in your home, go outside, over to a neighbour's for coffee, and return about 10 minutes later. They will have effectively eradicated your home of all the nuisance pillows you've been meaning to get rid of. I don't see how you can refuse this offer!!
However - I can't guarantee that they won't rid your household of other things (cats, goldfish, toddlers, couches, steaks marinating on your kitchen counter, etc).
Exhibit B:
Now, one warning - they do NOT clean up after themselves. I repeat, DO NOT clean up after themselves. In this photo, it may appear that this dog is cleaning up, but nooooo. She is just spreading the feathers around more. Having wet feet helps with that.
I also will throw in an additional Ripper FOR FREE who is great for eliminating any unwanted wool (or otherwise) socks.
One more warning:
You might not be able to resist the fun in joining in on the pillow-destroying fun. It is rather entertaining to play with thousands of feathers on the loose in your home. In the above photo, I thought it might be fun to give Lucy the little-known and underrepresented in the canine world "canine feather tiara" - it isn't easy to do! Try it! See how far across your living room you can spread the feathers.
Act now! I ship anywhere.
(Is it spring yet?? I think I might need hellllp....)
7 comments:
That is one tempting offer. How do you feel about trades? Because we have a Beagle who can do in any stray socks that your guys miss. Plus, she's a wizard at shredding the contents of the paper recycling bin & distributing it all over the house, snacking on my husbands earplugs (used, of course), and dragging her sandy butt into the bed, under the sheets, ensuring a gritty sleep experience for all. Oh, and her howl can peel paint ;-)
Hahaha! I love how in Exhibit B, there's a momentary thought of, hey, there's a dead dog under all those feathers and then you realize that it's just a wolf on a blanket. Or was that just me?
I don't want one permanently, but I might be interested if you rent them out...
Do you ship to Brazil? As a gesture of appreciation for your generosity, I can offer in trade the 11 stray dogs that bark furiously in the street below my window at all hours of the night.
p.s. great photos!
They are worse than kids!
Julia - no trades allowed, sorry.
Fawn- that is an interesting observation that shows me a bit more about your warped mind...lol
Michael- renting? For a year or so?
Sarah - sure! But see above, no trade-ins. Especially little Brazilian dogs! (they'd get too cold)
Kara - No way, 'cause after the pillow incident, I can throw them all outside till the next day!
I never thought about too many pillows but mine recently decided I had an extra sleeping bag that was also too warm LOL. I love it when I ask them, "what are you doing?" and they give me the look "Its not me".
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