(mom/dad/luddites & internet newbies - these are terms that people put into Google and found their way to my blog...)
This is by far the best search term I've seen:
Baby chinking
Need I say any more? And here I was using regular chinking, but stuffing the cracks with BABIES makes wayyyy more sense. I wonder if they fit in the chinking gun? Or do you have to get a special baby chinking gun?? How many babies does it take to chink a cabin?? So many questions...
Anyways, here's some more searches that some crazy-assed people got here with:
moose meat - Yep, lots of that around here.
la banana stringe? - Yeah! Even the French wonder about banana strings!!
messy people -Um, none here.
porno dogs hours - Classy.
blaze king catalyst parts - Sorry, can't help you on that one, check the manufacturer maybe?
photos of painted plywood floors - you wouldn't believe how many people are interested in photos of painted plywood floors! It seems a lot of people have my fantabulous sense of style.
Zoya Musher princess - Geez, Zoya gets such a bad rap.
what to do when attacked by a porcupine - Do not play dead! And do not run, they like to chase. Fight back. Head-butting a porcupine usually works.
true blaze king burn time - a bazillion hours! Unless it's -50, then 5 minutes.
Apes peel bananas - yes, they do! Unless the butler peels it for them
snow rant - I do more of a "no-snow rant" around here
zoya the princess musher - again with the princess thing, what the heck??
messy people are cool - I totally agree
ski banana wipeout - poor banana, hope it's ok
beaver coats - only possible if you fend off the attacking beaver (see above)
skijoring Rupert - Rupert will be pleased you are inquiring about him
dog attacked by porcupine - nope, not around here, never, no way... uh uh, never seen a porcupine...
dogs porn up - I don't even know what to say to this one??
My new BFF winter - different than your summer BFF (Best Friend Forever)
mom on dog porn - what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
snap a banana quickly - what?!?!?!?!?!?!
yukon rain january - what?!?!?!? Ok, this happens as we just saw a couple weeks ago.
anti-coyote advice using tennis balls - as opposed to giving pro-coyote advice using squash balls?
In summary - people on the internet are crazy.
9 comments:
The banana snapping one totally makes sense! (Wasn't my search). When a banana is at the correct ripeness, you can "snap it" by the stem to start peeling it.
Here's now:
1. Grasp the stem of a still-slightly-firm banana between your thumb and forefinger. The stem should be at the bottom of the banana (you're holding the banana up). The curve should be facing away from you (convex side out).
2. Snap your hand downwards, stopping when the banana is about parallel to the ground. The banana peel should "snap" open at the top, allowing you to peel the rest of it with ease (not more fumbling around, trying to get into the peel).
Now when someone searches for "snap a banana quickly" they'll find what they're looking for!
AH, okayyyy then...
Oh my goodness, I am laughing so hard I am crying over here. My dogs are looking at me funny. I can't figure out those Zoya searches, though. I get a lot of Zoya searches at my blog (due to my photodocumenting our meeting last year, and also due to my imminent adoption of one of her dogs) but NO ONE finds me searching for "Zoya Princess" or "Zoya Musher Princess" or the like....and, trust me, with a Rhodesian Ridgeback mix in residence, I use the term "princess" a lot!
Well I keep getting found by someone googling "baby bump porn". I am creeped out.
You are a brilliant comedienne. Your biting commentary on these crazy-assed searches is hilarious. Thanks for the good laugh;m I needed it this morning. :)
Hey Meg, I've always been interested in Rhodesian Ridgebacks, but never known anyone with one - any commments? and Michael, I really didn't want to let my imagination loose on that description.
You're making this up, right?
meg - those are too funny eh? Good luck with Zoya's dog!!
Kara - that is TOTALLY creepy!!!
Forest - you are my favourite commenter! :)
Jon - yeah, it's best you keep your perverted imagination to yourself! haha
Sarah - I wish I was making it up! Nope, directly from my stat counter.
Stacie....I'm a dork, but I figured out what the "Zoya princess musher" searches are about...probably someone who took one of the Princess Cruise Line summer tours and took the bus tour to Denali (which stops at Zoya's place to show the tourists "a real, live, sled dog kennel"). Probably people who remembered her first name & were trying to find her site....by the way, my own blog comes up before yours on the list, so I'm surprised I don't get those hits myself!
Also...thanks for the good wishes, we're a bit excited...my first full out crazy Husky (versus my current "only" half Alaskan Husky mix)...I was joking that it's all downhill from here. Once we get Streak there's no looking back, we'll end up crazy dog people with a house full of Huskies in no time. ;)
To "Cool dogs"....Ridgebacks are awesome, but incredibly smart (and know it, too!), incredibly athletic, they're absolutely excellent athletes. Some are total lazy couch potatoes all the time, but most are like mine and play hard and then sack out and are a couch potato for hours as a result of all the hard play. My Ridgeback mix participates in obedience, agility, bikejoring, lure coursing and tracking for "fun" just so we can mentally & physically tire her out enough to take the edge off! Absolute food hogs, they'll at anything that isn't nailed down. And you want to keep them occupied because, if they're bored, they'll take up new hobbies, like figuring out how to use their body to disassemble wooden fences.
Owning a Ridgeback (or, in my case, Ridgeback mix) is kinda like having a super brilliant prima donna lead dog bitch. Difficult, intelligent, amazingly athletic, pushy, needs to be given work to do so they don't make up their own, etc., but worth it.
Too bad they aren't equipped with the appropriate fur coat for winter sports as my Ridgeback mix is AMAZING at bikejoring...memorizes trails after one ride, follows commands flawlessly, is extremely agile, runs like the wind (lure coursing is her other favorite sport), is a total go-go-go cheerleader out on the trail, pulls like a demon and would make one heckuva lead dog....if only she had an appropriate coat!
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